Give me strength*

*A blog post in which I rant and ramble.

Oh Lordy. Okay, who has seen the ads for the "Playtex Fresh+Sexy Wipes"? While I appreciate the humor behind "A clean beaver gets more wood" (heh), seriously, just f-off already. You can see the ads here, and yes, I chuckled when I read them, but there's no chance in Hell I'd ever buy these. Would you? Do you live in your car with no access to a shower? (In which case, I'm sorry for the tragic turn your life has taken, and I hope things come around for you).  'Cause unless you're really paranoid, and keep catching a whiff of something that smells like dumpster juice, I'm betting that these are a)unnecessary and b)a big ol' waste of money.

There's some movie on; I'm not really listening to it, it's some 80's mob extravaganza, but I did just overhear "He should die of hemorrhoids." Wow (and again: I laughed). You'd have to really hate someone to wish that on them.

Looking for ideas for a housewarming gift. I'm thinking some useful things in a reusable container (fascinating reading, this. I don't know if I should thank you, or apologize). Pictures when it's done.

Working on some bags. And I may have some upcycling projects that are top secret at the moment, so shhh! More to come!

*bag preview!*

I spent 2 days this week planning my veggie garden. Yay!! It's supposed to be nice this coming week, so I should be able to start turning the soil, and then get everything turned and fertilized. Finally, a use for all these coffee grounds!

Also, I've been reading the reFashionista blog, and inspired to refashion some things of my own. Will this happen? Who the hell knows. I think it's the impending Spring: it's giving me all kinds of loony ideas! (Loony because sometimes I really don't like to sew. It's like baking: I like it when it's going well).

And be warned: there will be a dog post coming up.

What're you reading? I just finished John Dies at the End, by David Wong. Very strange, but I have to say, I loved it!! and can't wait to read the sequel.  I'm about in the middle of Bossypants (by Tina Fey) and it's enjoyable; it's a really quick read, and it's so funny.

If you're still with me, thanks for dropping by. I hope you come back! It gets lonely on this here blog... 0_o

Note to self: when you have a song stuck in your head, keep it to yourself.

I no longer remember what it was that I had in my head, but I was complaining and my dad comes out with this:

"It's fine, the goose drank wine, 

the monkey chewed tobacco on the street car line.

The line broke, the monkey choked, 

They all went to heaven in a little rowboat".

I can't really get the tune across, but believe me, it's a doozy. And I cannot get it out of my head. Thanks Pa. (edit: this is seriously a song? wow).

Also: am I the only person who hates Valentine's day? I don't celebrate it, I don't want anything for it, don't buy me flowers or cards, or anything else. I don't understand what the hell the point is. I can't see what it is other than a)a big commercial holiday to fill the gap between Christmas and Easter, and/or b)a cop out for all the arses who don't do anything nice for their significant other for the rest of the year. So to you, Valentine's day, I say Booooo. BOOOOOOOO (and no, I'm not bitter. I just refuse to take part in this farce of a holiday).

So let's see. Bought some material.

Made some stuff.... 

The bags are for me... 

How could I resist this material? I mean, seriously.

Made a wee baby card...

Got some awesome material from my awesome sister....

 ...who just happens to have a birthday today (how'd you like that segue? Btw, every time I see that I saw "say-gue" in my head).HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE BEST SISTER IN THE WORLD. Maybe next year I'll get you that clown-o-gram.

Love you!

It's a cold, cold, cold night tonight...

... to steal a little something from Bon Jovi. So I'm making some baked potato soup. And drinking more coffee (both more than normal, and more than I probably should).
I've linked up the Somewhat Simple party, want to check it out? Click-clicky!

 I've been busy, see? To quote what I keep seeing on the interweb, CREATIVITY IS MESSY AND I AM VERY CREATIVE.

Just a sneak peak, as it's for a birthday present. The tags make me happy.

 At my parent's house, the dog's aren't allowed on the carpet, hence the temporary chair gate. The big buy knows the boundaries; the wee is without boundaries. Every time you look away he's creeping in a little closer, like a wee furry ninja. Is this not the saddest thing you've ever seen?

 Baby quilt that will hopefully be quite suitable for a wee babe who's hoping to bag a moose.

Got some lovely quilt books for Christmas. The top one has a CD with quilt patterns, which are just lovely. I put together an apple core quilt before, but it was all by hand, so I'm interested to see how well this goes with machine piecing. The bottom book is a fabric artist (yes? artsy quilter? I'm not sure) from the South Shore of NS, and her work is AMAZING. Hopefully one of these days I get the ambition to try something like this. On a much, MUCH smaller scale.
Speaking of ambition, I have none. I can't believe the month of January is almost over, and I've accomplished almost nothing. So let me just put this out here:

Goals for the month of February

1. Gym. Gym and more gym. I've been slack, and this needs to stop.
2. I am probably single-handedly keeping a sugar plantation somewhere in business. This also needs to stop. 
3. Finish all some of the WIPs that I have hanging around here. 
4. Write. Something. Anything. Please. 

And there it is.  I'll check in with that at the end of the month. 

Also: cold weather, please f*&# off already. K, tks.

Now here's something that's been in my craw lately: That GD Nice N' Easy commercial with Kate. Y'know, "And after all this time (or whatever the Jesus the line is) Kate still looks like Kate". Yes, because if Kate hadn't been dying her hair with that shitty boxed dye from the grocery store, her grey hair might be showing, turning her into the inevitable aged gorgon all women attempt to fend off. 

Unrelated: I think I'll get my hair dyed. Seriously. Unrelated. I'm just bored. 

I've been working on some birthday presents, and some of them, not to give too much away, have put me in mind of Absolutely Fabulous, and one of these days very soon, I'm going to have to re-watch it. Do you watch it? Do you loooove it?  I love, LOVE that show. Like, I watched it so much, I'm pretty sure my dad still gets a facial tick when he hears "Wheels on fire, rolling down the roooooaaaaad". Ha! Love it!

And since my sister's bday is coming up one of these days/weeks/sometime in the near future, I have the perfect present in mind. It may or may not be related to the fabulous source of vintage clown masks I've found. That's right, Benore, be afraid. (I kid. There's really no need to be afraid. I'm well away you'd sick your dog on me, and/or beat me with a club. I assume you keep a club on hand for those infrequent, but necessary, clown beatings).

Attn: crafty people: What's one thing you would hate to do without? Could be anything, as long as you find it particularly handy.

And a month has passed. Whoops.

Well, hello thurr. I do mean to blog more, and quite frankly, I'm surprised that it's been over a month! Of course, with Christmas, time does tend to pass alarmingly quick. Anyone else make a New Year's resolution? Mine is to not listen to Taylor Swift this year. On the tv? Change the channel. On the radio? Change the channel. On the PA in the grocery store? Sprint towards the doors with my hands over my ears singing "Good King Wenceslas" at the top of my lungs. Oh yes, I am serious.
I did join the gym in October, and dang, I was doing good. Lately, I've been having some sinus issues (termites, or sinusitis? Who knows) so I'm blaming the slackassery on a mixture of that and the snow. Who the hell invited the snow to winter? I mean, Jesus, some people.
So let's see, in reverse order, made some things for Christmas:

 (beach glass wreath)

 (Ornament made of an old grater with Fimo gingerbread men)

 (Makeup bag. This was my first attempt at freezer paper stenciling. Swoon.)

(Cozy little meeses).

(Not a creature was stirring, indeed).

I made other things, another bag, pj pants, a buttload of baked goods (not literally, I actually put the stuff in cute little bags and boxes. Let me just say, I was plenty tired of packing fudge), and a whole set of photo booth props. Where are the pictures, you say? Yes, good question. I must take more pictures...

Tonight I tried using my printer to print on fabric. Hallelulia.

SOOO happy with the results. I took a piece of freezer paper and ironed over the type when I was done, hopefully it'll set the ink a little better (I'd have used wax paper, but I had none, and even though I know the ink is supposed to be permanent, I figured it couldn't hurt).

Now I'm trying this neat thing where I finish what I have started before I start something new. I'm not enjoying it, but it is effective. So first up, bind the baby quilt that I was making for a friend, and then get to work on some birthday presents.  I ordered some material yesterday from Fabric.com, I'm so weak!! But it's lovely... and I think it's a good thing that my Grandmother didn't have access to the internet....

Let's see. What else? I'm making a (let's be honest here) half-hearted attempt at eating better. I had roaster cauliflower for supper, but yesterday I ate a bag of Hershey's cookies and cream kisses. See above: I know I'm weak. At least they were on sale? Yea, I know. Poor excuse. Here's my problem: I LOVE sweets. Chips? Pop? Fast food? No problem, I'd rather have good food. But put chocolate in front of me, and I'll see how much I can fit in my mouth at once. So, any fellow sugar junkies out there have any tips?

Channeling my inner elf

'Tis the season. I've avoided the glitter so far... but we all know it's only a matter of time...
Pictures of shiny things...

 ...Not a creature was stirring...

 ...unlike here. These creatures are always stirring. I sat on the floor, because this spot on the cupboard was the place I could get a picture of the garland where there was nothing else Christmassy. As soon as I sat the floor, they were on me. I keep telling them they're too big lap dogs. I think they're trying to be small here, to stay out of the picture.

Woodsen! Moosen and bearsen in the woodsen!  (I made this for the BiFL, but I may need one myself).

Okay. Time to make the doughnuts presents.

Should I not return,  Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

Dang.

Some days it really isn't worth chewing through the restraints.
I wanted to make a.... something. I dunno. I guess. It was that sort of mood. Where you're like, "OMG I'm SOOOO bored. But I don't waaaaaaana...." So I dragged myself into the sewing room... rifled through stacks of material (muhahahahaaha!! stacks of material!!) and started cutting. I figured I'd make it up as I went.

.
So I cut up some half-triangle blocks and sewed. And sewed some more.What did I end up with?

Ta-da! An e-reader case that is too *BLEEEEEEEEP* small for a *BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEP* Kobo.

 *back*

*front*

Easy fix. But... c'mon!!
Thankfully, sewing mishaps don't put me in the same mood as baking mishaps, so it's not on fire in the yard. Go me!

Bear with me...

Blogger went and changed on me, so I'm not sure how long it'll take me to figure this out.
So. Where have I been? Well, that's none of your business, and I'll thank you to stay out of my affairs (to quote Ace Ventura). But I've been doing a little sewing

I've been making some extra bags for the upcoming Christmas Sale in Sherbrooke next month. I'm a little in love with the bag on the bottom tho, I'm not sure if I can part with it, or not.

The hounds are enjoying the cold weather a lot more than I am. I'm still denying the change of seasons, and refusing to give up the flip-flops just yet.

"Can't talk!! Gotta get the ball!!"

 

What else.... made a wee graveyard on a cake plate for Marcia (unfortunately I have no pictures of the gore when I jammed my Olfa knife in my thumb)

 

Not the best pictures 0_o

The first one is, if you look really, really closely, 2 little hands reaching up through the pond. Now, the pond. Damn pond. I had it painted with a wee person floating in it, and when I poured in the fake water... *bubble gurgle burp* the water ATE THROUGH THE STYROFOAM BASE. Oh, saints preserve us. Le sigh. Next time I'll know better.

 

And I'll try to show up around here more often then every few months. Promise. And I'll try to make the next post a little more interesting ;)