Channeling my inner elf

'Tis the season. I've avoided the glitter so far... but we all know it's only a matter of time...
Pictures of shiny things...

 ...Not a creature was stirring...

 ...unlike here. These creatures are always stirring. I sat on the floor, because this spot on the cupboard was the place I could get a picture of the garland where there was nothing else Christmassy. As soon as I sat the floor, they were on me. I keep telling them they're too big lap dogs. I think they're trying to be small here, to stay out of the picture.

Woodsen! Moosen and bearsen in the woodsen!  (I made this for the BiFL, but I may need one myself).

Okay. Time to make the doughnuts presents.

Should I not return,  Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

Dang.

Some days it really isn't worth chewing through the restraints.
I wanted to make a.... something. I dunno. I guess. It was that sort of mood. Where you're like, "OMG I'm SOOOO bored. But I don't waaaaaaana...." So I dragged myself into the sewing room... rifled through stacks of material (muhahahahaaha!! stacks of material!!) and started cutting. I figured I'd make it up as I went.

.
So I cut up some half-triangle blocks and sewed. And sewed some more.What did I end up with?

Ta-da! An e-reader case that is too *BLEEEEEEEEP* small for a *BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEP* Kobo.

 *back*

*front*

Easy fix. But... c'mon!!
Thankfully, sewing mishaps don't put me in the same mood as baking mishaps, so it's not on fire in the yard. Go me!

Bear with me...

Blogger went and changed on me, so I'm not sure how long it'll take me to figure this out.
So. Where have I been? Well, that's none of your business, and I'll thank you to stay out of my affairs (to quote Ace Ventura). But I've been doing a little sewing

I've been making some extra bags for the upcoming Christmas Sale in Sherbrooke next month. I'm a little in love with the bag on the bottom tho, I'm not sure if I can part with it, or not.

The hounds are enjoying the cold weather a lot more than I am. I'm still denying the change of seasons, and refusing to give up the flip-flops just yet.

"Can't talk!! Gotta get the ball!!"

 

What else.... made a wee graveyard on a cake plate for Marcia (unfortunately I have no pictures of the gore when I jammed my Olfa knife in my thumb)

 

Not the best pictures 0_o

The first one is, if you look really, really closely, 2 little hands reaching up through the pond. Now, the pond. Damn pond. I had it painted with a wee person floating in it, and when I poured in the fake water... *bubble gurgle burp* the water ATE THROUGH THE STYROFOAM BASE. Oh, saints preserve us. Le sigh. Next time I'll know better.

 

And I'll try to show up around here more often then every few months. Promise. And I'll try to make the next post a little more interesting ;) 

 







And that's when the arse fell out of her.

So.

How've you been? I've been away, and I've missed you.

In April, I packed all my stuff and left Bedford and my ex, and blah blah blah. Things went sideways. What can I say? Well, a lot of things, but nothing I'm gonna say on here. Anyway, through an odd turn of events (and believe me sometimes it sure is frickin' odd around here) I ended up back at home, and helping my dad lobster fish for the season. Now... I'm on sabbatical. Apparently. That sounds right, anyway. I've been helping my dad fix his parents old place. And look, I sewed!

I sold 12 of these to The Stepping Stone, in Guysborough, and THAT makes me pretty happy.

Downside of living in the middle of nowhere: Seaside "highspeed"? It's a joke. It is not highspeed. It's, at best, perfectly average speed. And I get disconnected every time the phone rings. What the hell, man? In other news, a longer update to follow soon about my unfortunate brownie adventure, how much my parents are enjoying bonding with the hounds, and... erm... other stuff.

Dear Blogspot,
What the hell! I though we were friends! Not only has no one been able to comment on my blog in FOREVER, but now I can't even find my dashboard. You've changed. And I don't know if we can stay friends for much longer.

I made a f#$%ing cake

Sometimes I like to bake. Most times I don't. I come from a long line of people who become enraged by the act of baking. When something goes wrong in my sister's kitchen, her dog won't even come in. My mother once hucked a pan of brownies, pan and all, out the front door and across the driveway. When things go wrong, this is me:

except I don't look so friendly.
So today, I saw a recipe for a Peaches and Cream coffee cake, and it looked so good, I figured I'd make it. (Recipe here, maker beware). It does taste delicious (I didn't use the pie filling, but just canned peaches).  But c'mon! See, I mix everything by hand, because I'm Amish like that, and when it came time to add the egg whites, it just wasn't happening. I had sections of cake batter, lubricated by the egg white, just slipping past the wooden spoon. "Madness! I will use the hand mixer!!" The hand mixer, however, didn't  like this plan. It sluggishly worked its way through the batter, blending the ingredients, but I could tell it wasn't happy. Actually, I'm pretty sure it was just this side of smoking. A strange thing happened: the batter clung to the beaters, working its way towards the body of the mixer, and I thought, Nay nay, this will never do. It's mixed enough, I'll just get rid of the beaters and mix the rest by hand. This, my friends, is where things went sideways. The batter was completely covering the beaters, so there was nowhere to grip them while they were still in the mixer; thinking I would just drop them out and then clean them off, I lifted them from the bowl. The following is playing through my mind in slow motion: looking at the beaters in front of me,  clear of the bowl, I think I should really unplug this before I take them out. But I didn't; the rising tide of batter had covered the cord, and I figured this way, well f#&*, I don't know what I was thinking, other than, Oh God, what a MESS.  If only I'd have known.... So there the beaters are, so full of batter, they resembled corn dogs, and I figured I'd just drop them in the bowl, reached for the eject button, and

                        I turned

                        the f-ing thing

                            on.

My mind, in a blur of panic (I'm not prone to panic, but hearing flack-flack-flack as batter hit every conceivable surface in the kitchen, well, it startled my poor, unemployed brain), went Oh Muh Guh, shut it off!! Which was clearly interpreted as Turn it UP!!

It was everywhere. Even in the GD cupboard. Oh. My. God.

*calm blue ocean. calm blue ocean*

The good news is, it really does taste good.

Royston has gotten over his extreme remote related humiliation, and was back to his normal self. Pictures as proof, because I don't want anyone thinking he was beaten with a hose or anything (*ahem* Lori), he just looks like that when he knows he's been bad. But look! Happy hounds in the yard:

 Happy Monday!

The Return of Woody Chewshoes *this is a dog post*

When Rocco was a puppy, he chewed EVERYTHING. Shoes (I lost count), bras (ALL of them), baseboard, night table; he accidenally shut himself in the bathroom, knocked the garbage can over and ate all of the Q-tips. He had toys, LOADS of toys, and he chewed those too. So when Royston came along, it seemed like we had lucked out, and when he was really small, we were lucky. But in the last two weeks... well... something has changed. He's eaten 2 remotes, a door jamb, a pillow, a bag clip...

Yesterday, I was gone ten minutes. TEN MINUTES! And I came home to this:

Is that not the most pitiful thing you've ever seen? The "I know I shouldn't have but I. Just. Couldn't. Help it!" look. Note the chew toy that's right there.

Eastlink has a chat option, handy since there's nowhere on the website to get addresses for the stores/kiosks.

Please wait while we find an agent to assist you...

You have been connected to Richard.

Richard: Thank you for contacting EastLink, my
name is Richard, and I will be assisting you today, how may I help
you?

Trudy Munroe: Hi Richard. My dog ate my remote, and I need a new
one. Where can I get one?

Richard: You can get one from one of our
Kiosks if you live near one, or speak to customer service if you would need to
get one mailed out to you.

Trudy Munroe: I'm in Bedford, where would the closest kisosk be? It's a
bit of an emergency, I'm stuck on a channel that's airing a Van Damme
movie

Richard: Van Damme isn't so bad! Closest one is likely in Halifax
or Dartmouth.

Richard: We have a kiosk in the Halifax shopping center
and Mic Mac mall.

Trudy Munroe: None in Bedford or
sackville?

Trudy Munroe: Please hurry. He's wearing a bandana and
punching a stick.

Richard: We do have one in lower sackville

Richard: The street address is 367 sackville Dr

Trudy Munroe: Thank you! Have a good afternoon :D

Richard: You too!

Richard: Thank you for dropping by Trudy, and have a great
day!

I went to pick it up and the lady suggested I put velcro on it and stick it to the ceiling. I suspect she has dogs as well..

Episode #63 of things that annoy me

1. Commercials/tv shows where the women are gorgeous and their spouse. Just. Really. Isn't.

2. That slimband commercial. Still And Ally as well. They should have to state in the commercial "If you take this pill, you have to eat healthy, like you should, if you want to lose weight. If you don't, all that grease will run out your bottom." Cause I don't care if you're skinny, if you're crapping your pants, you definitely aren't sexy.

3. My complete lack of ambition.

4. Rocco's constant game of "Let me in so I can come back out!"

5. The fact that I can no longer do yoga. Through no fault of my own. Srsly. I bring out the yoga mat, and, well... see photos... comfy yoga mat.

6. All the people on Property Brothers, Love It or List It, Leave it to Bryan, etc. Did you ever have an imagination? Ever? What do you mean, "I just can't see beyond the clutter/wallpaper/popcorn ceiling." Dear God. Live in a tent, you losers.

7. No one has cleaned my sewing room yet. Really, why is it so hard to get good help?

8. I'm unemployed. Yet again. Through no fault of my own. And I am very. Very. Angry.

And the #1 thing that is not annoying me this week: The weather. It's 25+ today, and it's been very, very nice for the last 2 days. I know it's a tease, but I'll take it.

Spring? Spring? Has anyone seen Spring? Anyone? Anyone?

I'll admit it: my sewing room is still a mess, which I really, really, need to clean up. The need for a couch cover was *ahem* underlined for me on Friday when we went for supper and Royston helped himself to my Martha Stewart crimson felt tip pen on the pool blue microfibre couch. *deep breath* Thanks to OxyClean and my little bissell carpet cleaner, the couch is blue again. And yes, the dog still lives here. In fact, they've been really good, his training is coming along nicely....

I think the Christmas cactus is confused. I blame the snow.

And if the Avocado keeps growing like this, it'll need a name. And a place at the table (ha! Table! But more on that later).

Adam brought home some lucky bamboo, and I'm starting to think we're being taken over by odd house plants...

And that reminds me, I never did show the after of the dresser I refinished, so here it is:

One of the local radio stations, Live 105, is having an Ugly Kitchen contest.

Think I can win? It's too bad that you can't see the countertop in all it's glory, or because the kitchen is so small, I can't get a shot of the shitty job they did installing the door and show off the nice tiny sink by the 50 yr old stove. OR the fact that there's nowhere for a GD table! Or the bare lightbulb! And the stove, btw, is an asshole! Every time I put something in that drawer, it won't slide back in, one side hangs down like Paris Hilton's eyelid, but would it do it today? Noooo.

But I shouldn't complain, cause it does work (pleasedon'tjinxitpleasedon'tjinxit). Sunday I made some banana muffins, which were soooo good, and a grapefruit poundcake, which everyone should try. And invite me to your house, cause I'd like some more, please. On the menu tonight: apple butternut soup. Wish me luck! Maybe in a couple months I could be baking in a whole new kitchen! ;D

PS: I apologize for the state of this entry. I don't know what's up with the odd spacing, and thanks if you made it this far! It looks terrible, and I've tried a few times to fix it, so screw it, it is what it is. Think of it as a few moments to think about what you've just read before you get to the next part ;).

Happy Meterological Rodent Day!!

I don't have a source for this, but if you do, please let me know what it is!

House boy, I need more coffee.

What have I done lately? I've worked! That counts, right?

I did find the perfect Christmas gift for Lori! And it's a money making venture as well!

Speaking of Lori, she gave me some Parking Citations to keep in my handbag, y'know, from when you see that Heir to the Massengil empire taking up way too much space? (Okay, so it might be because I tend to rant (a lot) when I see people in parking lots who should be supervised when they walk, let alone drive). Yea, so they look like this:

When I was leaving work yesterday, I noticed one of my co-workers was taking up 2 spaces, so I checked off the appropriate boxes, put it under his wiper, and went home. In typical fashion, I forgot about it until today, so I sent him a message to ask him how he liked it; turns out our boss picked it up and brought it in to him, and everyone thought it was a serious thing. Bwahahahahaaha.

Knowing that made up for me locking my keys and my phone and my groceries in the car when I went for sushi, and THEN after paying $1.50 to get cash out so that I could get change so that I could use the payphone, the payphone told me my phone was disconnected (it's not, but the people at the phone company seem pretty intent that it's someone else's fault that half the incoming calls here get that message). So I had to walk home. In a snowstorm. Hoping all the way that my spare keys were NOT in my handbag. Cause, uh yeah, that was in my car too. But they were not. And no one had to get hurt (although the elderly lady who was ahead of me at the cash machine, seemingly catching up in all her bills since 1958? Yea, it came close to violence).

So, how was your day? 0_o

And in other unrelated news, on my way to work I drive by a really old graveyard (which I can't find any information about, but it takes up a few city blocks, and dates back to the 1700s. Wednesday morning, a woman was just getting to the gate with her wee little Scottie dog, all decked out in a coat and wee little booties, and as it got to the gate.... it braced itself for all it was worth, and I don't know if she finally dragged him into the cemetery, but that little dog was putting up a good fight. I won't lie, I found it pretty creepy.

And speaking of creepy, someone has been coming into my house. And stealing my Tupperware. No, really. Because when I tried to put the leftovers away, I had a lot of lids, and nothing else. I mean, what the hell? It's not like I send people home with open containers of food! I came thisclose to having to put my mashed potatoes in a baggy!! I don't understand and I may have scared the dogs a little on my rampage to find the lids, but everything is okay now! Because amongst the bags of groceries that I locked in my car? There were new take-away containers. Which will be assigned serial numbers, and they will be scanned before leaving the property. Okay, not really, but if anyone knows of their whereabouts, please tell me, it's making me a little crazy(er).

I am ashamed.

When we moved in here, we had no doors. No switch plates. No light fixtures. (I suspect the previous tenant was trying to find the voices). Now, we've come a long way, but y'know how sometimes, something is just a certain way, and you overlook it, and don't pay any attention until one day you see it again, and think, 'my God, that's what people see when they walk in here' and all of a sudden, it's not okay anymore. So this morning I made this

look like this:

I'm sure you can see why I'm ashamed. Please feel free to send me some comments about how some part of your house looks like a junkyard.

I made pasta primavera tonight; I think it must've smelled even better than I realized...

Less viewing, more doing.

Oh. My. God. How many hours have you spent blog surfing? Tell me I'm not the only one who gets sucked in to all the fantastic crafting/renovating/overhauling blogs, and the next thing I know, a significant amount of time has passed, and I'm. Still. Sitting. Here. But I HAVE A PLAN! There will be more doing, less viewing. Since deciding that this year is my year to get organized. Finally. Only took 31 years... Anyroad, I have a plan. First (as in, today. As in, what I should be doing right now) I clean the sewing room. I have a desk in there. She's beautiful. And after today, the sewing room will be the craft room/office. (Pictures to follow for proof).


I saw someone who had the great idea of working on one room a month, to get everything done in a calm and rational manor. This is foreign to me, but seems like a good idea. I'm more of the all-speed and no-control school of thought, but since that doesn't work at all I'm willing to give this a try. No, really. I will.

Now, since a)working construction is not so kind to the pocketbook in the winter, and b) we have a really small place so I don't need a whole year to get things together, I think starting in March is a reasonable plan.

• March: Bathroom


• April: Bedroom


• May: Hallway/ceilings/lights


• June: Craft room/office


• July: Kitchen


• August: Stairwell


• September: Basement/storage/laundry

Entire plan subject to change. Bwahaha. Like that needs to be said.

And now, hoping I haven't bored you entirely, we'll move on to something I call "Lifestyles of the Underemployed and Mostly-Unknown". I had an entire backseat full of (crap? garbage?) stuff to donate to Value Village (it wasn't actually garbage, just things I had no reason to hang onto anymore), so of course, I went in, because...my name is Trudy, and I'm a thriftaholic.

First, I have a new pervy-plate. I can't even tell you how giddy I get when I find these. I snatch them up like someone is just lurking around the corner waiting to grab it. Not likely, methinks.




And these! Who knew Elves had hangups? These guys are destined for greatness. I think. Most likely. Let's see what happens!

They were called "Wise Elf", "Lamplighter Elf", and "Thinking Elf", but I've renamed them "Druncle about to tell you something about You that YOU don't know Elf", "Do these overalls make me look fat Elf" and "Holy God, I shouldn't have had that last glass of nog I'm gonna burst Elf". I think I can relate to them more now.

This muffin tin is so very awesome, even if it does refuse to give up the last of it's muffin remnants. I mean, I scrubbed, I SOS'd, I put water in it and put it in the oven, and then SOS'd again. Suggestions? Anyone?

Then I found Santa. As in, OMG he's supercute and retro and needs to come home with me because who else will love him like I will? Then I accidentally scrubbed his face off...

So I figured, well, why stop now, so I kept scrubbing. And scrubbing. And f&*$ing scrubbing. How is it that 90% of the paint falls off, and the rest just. Refuses. To. Go. Anywhere. So Santa had a bath.

And then I broke out the steel wool and dental picks, and would you look at that? I was right all along.

Also, Adam does this for fun.

He thinks it's hilarious. Rocco humors him (no one tell him this is on the internet. He'd be so ashamed).

As of right now, I'm implementing my new "Get the frig off the internet and do something, Effie!" rule, so... see ya! :D

Where'd I leave that soapbox?

Okay, I know I have ranted this ramble before, but I loathe the people who came up with Slimband. Of course it's a "solution that works", jackass. (Here's how it works. Look at it. Please.) And the people at Alli are no better. Yea, you're skinny now. And how's that anal leakage when you eat a burger? Gross, people. I understand being overweight, I don't understand thinking surgery or drugs are the way to go about losing it. Learn to eat and get off your fat ass. Should I win the lottery, I'm getting my own commercial, and airing it after slimband. Le sigh. Speaking of which, I've cut my junk food intake to almost nothing, I've been running!! With the dogs! (Ask them if you don't believe me!!). I mean, it's slow going, but I'm doing it! Oh, and I've been hanging out at Sparkpeople again (http://www.sparkpeople.com/, I highly recommend it!), and it's a HUGE eye opener to see how much you're actually eating.

Okay. I'm done now. Well, for now.

And also: I'm trying to take pictures everyday. I realized I went home for Christmas (which was awesome, even if I wasn't home for long enough!) and didn't take any pictures! Not one!! So cute. So good. SO lazy.

New Year's ducks.

Rocco's favorite perch, so he can look out the window. I think he's on constant watch for the mailman.

Remember the avocado pit I started to grow? Now I need some dirt! How's everyone else's January?

OH! Blog related, am I the only one having problems with commenting? I can comment on other people's sometimes, but no one seems to be able to comment on mine, and quite frankly, that sucks. It would be appreciated if any advice can be sent to my email. :D